My Experience as an Elder Law Attorney Who Became a Hospital Patient and Nearly a Long-Term Care Resident
Background
By the title of this article, you know that I am an Elder Law Attorney. I have one of the largest elder law practices in New Jersey, with hundreds of new client appointments each year.
I am not old, but I am not young, either. Let’s just say I am past Social Security age, but my lifestyle is more like that of someone in their 50s. I still lift weights, go to the gym regularly, and play plenty of golf.
Physically, I have always considered myself very healthy. I rarely get the flu or even a cold. My heart rate is normal, and my blood pressure is excellent, often comparing favorably with that of someone much younger. I have exercised since childhood, played competitive sports in high school and college, and enjoyed a wonderful family and personal life.
For much of my life, I have essentially lived on autopilot. To me, that has been a good thing because life has been consistent, productive, enjoyable, and meaningful. I am blessed with grandchildren, supportive friends, and a wonderful home life.
Enough about me.
Life Sometimes Throws Us Curveballs
My life changed dramatically when I was taken by ambulance to Jersey Shore University Medical Center, essentially paralyzed on my right side. I could not move my right arm or leg, among other difficulties. My left side remained fully functional, which was both confusing and terrifying.
I was immediately evaluated in the emergency department, where a team of physicians, nurses, and other medical professionals did an excellent job assessing my condition and ruling out a stroke. I was placed in a private room as an observation patient. Until then, I had never given much thought to the distinction between hospital observation status and an inpatient admission. I learned firsthand that being in a hospital does not necessarily mean you have been formally admitted as an inpatient.
While in the hospital, I was closely monitored to ensure my condition remained stable. I was eventually transferred to the neurological unit, where I underwent numerous tests, including MRIs of my cervical, thoracic, and lumbar spine.
I had been hospitalized before for surgeries involving my lower back and knees, but this experience was different. Being a hospital patient requires patience, particularly when you depend on others for assistance. That can be difficult to accept when you are active, independent, and fiercely self-reliant.
Nevertheless, I listened to the advice of the doctors, nurses, and everyone who had my best interests at heart. My treatment included steroid infusions, intravenous immunoglobulin (IVIG) therapy, and oral steroids in an effort to improve my condition and avoid surgical intervention.
Being hospitalized also means being awakened throughout the night for tests, blood draws, and vital-sign checks. It means undergoing repeated examinations, imaging studies, strength assessments, and treatments to prevent complications such as blood clots. I experienced all of this firsthand.
After an extended hospital stay, I was discharged to Encompass, an acute rehabilitation facility. I learned that acute rehabilitation differs from other rehabilitation settings in the intensity of the physical, occupational, and other therapies provided. Following my hospital stay, intensive rehabilitation became my primary objective.
I had begun to recover some of my lost motor skills, including the ability to write and lift a fork. However, I continued to experience neck and right arm pain, numbness in my right leg, and an inability to walk independently.
Losing the ability to care for yourself without assistance can be deeply humbling, particularly when you take pride in your appearance and independence. Imagine the anxiety of being confined to bed and needing help with basic activities such as using the bathroom and showering. It is a difficult reality to accept, especially when you have always been accustomed to taking care of yourself.
At Encompass, the physical and occupational therapists pushed me hard, and their efforts made a meaningful difference. My motor skills began to improve, and the nursing staff, rehabilitation aides, transport personnel, and other members of the team were terrific.
Eventually, I reached a point where I could be discharged home. But that was when the reality of my condition truly hit me.
What if I did not have a loving family? What if I did not have my wonderful wife, Maribeth, at home to help me? What if my left arm and hand had also been affected, leaving me unable to perform even the basic tasks I had managed throughout this ordeal?
Those questions forced me to confront something I had discussed with clients for years: the possibility that an illness or injury could suddenly leave someone unable to live independently.
The Importance of Long-Term Care Planning
I purchased a long-term care insurance policy from my good friend and health care consultant, Laurie Aromando of Aromando Enterprises. She helped me obtain a comprehensive policy, and I have continued to pay the premiums faithfully.
In fact, I often tell people that, given the potentially enormous cost of long-term care, I would make substantial sacrifices before allowing this policy to lapse.
My experience helped me appreciate just how important that coverage could be. Without the support system I have at home, I might have needed to rely on my long-term care insurance to pay for assisted living, nursing home care, or home-based care for as long as I could not safely live independently.
Many people do not have a spouse or children who can provide assistance. Others have family members who live far away, have their own health challenges, or cannot take on the responsibility of providing care. Some people have no dependable support system at all.
What happens to these individuals when they experience a serious stroke, a debilitating illness, a neurological condition, or another medical crisis?
As a recovering patient, I came to understand even more deeply how quickly circumstances can change. An unexpected medical event can lead to a prolonged need for care, substantial expenses, and the potential loss of a lifetime of savings and hard work.
Long-term care planning is not simply about preparing for old age. It is about recognizing that a serious health event can happen to anyone, regardless of how healthy, active, or independent that person may be today.
Planning ahead can help families understand their options, protect their financial well-being where possible, and make informed decisions about future care. Long-term care insurance may be one part of that plan, but it is also important to understand the legal, financial, and practical issues that can arise when someone can no longer care for themselves.
A New Perspective on Elder Law
As an Elder Law Attorney, I have always been sensitive to the needs of my clients, particularly those diagnosed with progressive or debilitating conditions. I have also understood the emotional burden experienced by spouses whose loved ones are still living but have been fundamentally changed by a serious illness or injury.
Being a hospital and rehabilitation patient myself has given me a more personal understanding of those challenges. I now appreciate even more deeply the fear, frustration, uncertainty, and vulnerability that individuals and their families may experience when confronted with an unexpected medical crisis.
This experience has reinforced my compassion for those facing difficult decisions about care, independence, and their financial futures.
I am sharing my story with people who may find themselves in circumstances similar to mine. If you come to meet with me, I want you to know that I will approach your situation with both professional knowledge and a personal understanding of what it means to lose some of your independence.
My commitment is to provide not only legal guidance but also practical, real-world advice to help you and your family navigate what may seem like an overwhelming or even hopeless situation.
Every family’s circumstances are different. There may not be an easy solution, and the road ahead may be uncertain. But understanding your options and having someone help you navigate the decisions can make a meaningful difference.
Hope, Resilience, and Moving Forward
I am grateful to have made progress in my recovery, although I recognize that regaining my former abilities takes effort, patience, and perseverance.
One thing I learned through this experience is that your state of mind matters when a traumatic event occurs. When a favorable outcome is reasonably possible, hope can be an important part of the recovery process. It is equally important to recognize that recovery looks different for everyone and that some people will face lasting limitations.
Throughout my hospital stay, I kept a personal goal in mind: to return to the gym and get back on the golf course, hitting a 225-yard tee shot straight down the middle of the fairway. That goal reminded me of the life I hoped to reclaim and gave me something positive to work toward.
I hope to share a sequel to this article someday, complete with photographs or video of me working out at the gym or enjoying a round of golf.
In the meantime, I hope my experience has helped you appreciate how unexpectedly life can change and why planning for the possibility of needing long-term care is so important.
None of us can predict what the future holds. But we can take steps to prepare, seek guidance when we need it, and make informed decisions for ourselves and the people we love.
Best in All Good Things in Life,
Fred
To discuss your NJ Elder Care matter, please contact Fredrick P. Niemann, Esq. at (732) 863-9900 or email him at fniemann@hnlawfirm.com. Please ask us about our video conferencing or telephone consultations if you are unable to come to our office.
By Fredrick P. Niemann, Esq. of Hanlon Niemann & Wright, a Freehold Township, Monmouth County, NJ Elder Care Attorney